"I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me"

The prophet Moroni leaves us no room to question -- even the greatest men on earth have weaknesses. But with this guarantee is also the promise that these weaknesses do not have to be permanent.  In the same breath Moroni testifies of weaknesses as well as strengths -- when we turn to God humbly and have faith in Him, "[his] grace is sufficient for all men.... [that he may make] weak things become strong unto them." In this turning to God, God not only helps us strengthen our weakness, but also helps us more clearly identify what the weakness is: "if men come unto me, I will show unto them their weakness." I don't know about you, but sometimes that is half the battle for me -- simply knowing why in the world it is that I keep messing up! So when it comes to school work, life goals, relationships, and family matters, I am grateful for a God who wants me to turn to him. And I'm thankful that when I do, he will teach me what really needs fixing and also assist me with His power in fixing it. What a wonderful Heavenly Father we have! I invite you to humbly turn to God and let his grace bless you with strength.

"With everlasting kindness will I have mercy on thee"

Among all of the truths taught by Jesus Christ in the Book of Mormon -- almost none are more precious to me than the truth that I can repent. Nothing, in my mind, is more aching to the soul than to realize that I really have offended God and gone against what I know is right to do.  In those moments, even while fully recognizing that literally everyone has sinned and messed up like me, it still sometimes feels like I can never be forgiven. That I can never be good and clean again.  That I will always have this sin in my pocket -- no matter how bad I wish I could re-do something. For these moments, when we have lost the spirit of the Lord because of sin, Christ gives us this promise: "For a small moment have I forsaken thee, but with great mercies will I gather thee... with everlasting kindness will I have mercy on thee... my kindness shall not depart from thee, neither shall the covenant of my peace be removed." (3 Nephi 22: 7-10) There are two important truths that I have learned to love from these verses:

1. Sin separates us from God. -- As painful as that sounds and as hard as it may be to come to terms with, it is true.  It IS possible to lose the presence of God and offend his spirit that it is not with us. However, whether or not we do that is within our control.
2. God's mercy, kindness, and peace do not have to be permanently removed. -- We are promised that as we turn to God, recognize what we have done, and take the steps to repent, we can be fully forgiven and enjoy the kindness and peace of the Lord. It may be hard to comprehend, and Satan will tempt you to think otherwise -- but it is completely true.  We can be completely forgiven through the Lord's mercy and have peace restored to a life that is in distress.

Repentance really is the most hopeful word in this gospel -- every single one of us will need it, so you never need feel alone in the process. And remember, the Lord says that even when we do sin and need to repent, it does not have to be a long dreary process -- he himself describes it as "a small moment." I don't know exactly how it works, and situations vary, but I imagine the Lord will not hesitate even a moment longer than necessary in coming to our aid when we ask. Our sins will not define us nor confine us, that is the truth found in Jesus Christ.

"Whoso cometh unto me as a little child, him will I receive"

Working at a preschool, I get to spend a fair amount of time around little children every day and what has impressed me the most is there complete willingness to love. Without any compulsory means or sweet-talking, they instinctively reach out to hold my hand or give me a hug ... hardly knowing me! In any card I receive from them, I never fail to get a number of "I love you's". In fact, the other day a little girl was telling me about her new stuffed animal and before I knew it she was spouting out her home address asking me to come to her house and visit! They love first -- and question second. I thought of this as I read what Christ himself told the Nephites about what the Kingdom of God is like: "Therefore, whoso repenteth and cometh unto me as a little child, him will I receive, for of such is the Kingdom of God." (3 Nephi 9:22) It's easy to see why Christ cherishes children so much -- they cherish Him. Among other wonderful characteristics, children remind us of the true essence of the gospel of Jesus Christ. And despite all of the things we need to teach them, we would do well to take a view notes in the process. Afterall, in the words of President Uchtdorf: "Love is the defining characteristic of a disciple of Christ."

"The rock upon which ye are built"

     You know those times when you plan on being productive ... but when the moment comes there is literally not an ounce of motivation in you? That was me, on a plane to Florida, yesterday. Since we were taking the weekend off to visit grandparents in Florida - we planned on getting a lot of studying done on the plane! Good plan, right? And part of that studying was doing some reading in the scriptures... so perfect time, right? Perhaps it was... but sometimes there is something about approaching the actual moment of action (in this case when it was scripture study) where push meets shove and suddenly the things you at one point really wanted/intended to do feel not that tempting anymore -- maybe even inconvenient. I openly admit, this was not the first time (and probably not the last time) that I hit one of these walls and caved -- deciding rather that sleeping was a better alternative.

    Well, I obviously can't leave the story there... but do you get where I'm coming from? Those moments when your knowledge of what is right and your motivations... just don't quite coincide?? From something as simple as brushing your teeth to keeping the commandments, I think we face those tests daily. And instead of suggesting to you that you grit your teeth and push through it, or preach to you about self-control -- I'll tell you what helped me in this case.

    As I was falling asleep, my friend next to me pulled out his Book of Mormon and started reading. Only moments ago, I had no desire to do my homework and finish my scripture study -- but something about not feeling compelled to made me actually want to read it! I stayed in my "falling asleep" position, but instead of sleeping, I read over his shoulder. The page he was on was a really good story that I remembered and wanted to read more about. Then, even after he was finished reading, about to put the book away, I asked if I could borrow it -- reading long into the flight, honestly having one of the best studies of my life.

    We are guaranteed to have times in life when doing what is right (big or small) will be inconvenient. Surround yourself with good people and situations -- friends and family that will probably steer you in the right direction even when you aren't really feeling it yourself.  But beyond that, remember the real reason behind what you're doing -- and you'll probably realize that you do actually want to do it.  For me, this was remembering the awesome stories and lessons in the scriptures that I seriously wanted to learn -- suddenly reading was not a chore but a reward. If we stay focused on the true purpose of life, building our foundation on Christ, we are promised that we will not be overcome -- not even by exhaustion: "when all [the] hail and mighty storms shall beat upon you" (when it starts to get really hard to do something you know you should be doing) remember "the rock upon which ye are built... whereon if men build they cannot fall."

"Nourish the seed"

Have you ever noticed a change in your life when you miss a few times of scripture reading, or even just one day? The scary thing is that sometimes we don't! This isn't to say that there is no actual difference, there definitely is, but it can be difficult to perceive and attribute to a lack of scripture reading. This fact is pointed out in Alma 32 where he talks about "nourishing the seed" or nourishing our testimonies with the word of God on a regular basis. We are promised that "if ye will not nourish the word, looking forward with an eye of faith to the fruit thereof, ye can never pluck of the fruit of the tree of life (the love of God)." In fact, the seed (our testimony and spirit) will most definitely dry up and die if it does not receive nourishment (talking with and hearing from God.) So although we may not be able to see the subtle changes in the health of our spirit as we neglect to study our scriptures, Alma makes it clear that it will deteriorate -- just like a growing plant would if you stopped giving it water. And I don't know about you, but there is nothing worse than feeling like you have an empty, weak spirit. So I encourage you, on those days when it is hard to open the scriptures, to do it anyway. Our spirits need the strength and love of God that comes with reading His word.

"Our swords have become bright"

What had once been described as a "blood-thirsty" people, became a society who literally buried their weapons of war to never again fight or take the life of another person. They did this "as a testimony to our God." (Alma 24:16) So why would they do this? After years and years of wars and bloodshed -- what would move them to totally turn their lives around? To go a bit deeper than the Sunday school answer -- it wasn't just that they gained a testimony.  It wasn't just that they now believed in God. But rather, they stopped fighting -- entirely lost their desire to -- when they came to see their enemies as "their brethren." The gospel suddenly wasn't some arbitrary belief connected to an arbitrary being in a far off universe. God became "our God", the enemy became "our brethren", and so life took on real meaning as they realized they weren't just people grabbling over land, but they were children of a Heavenly Father. When we truly understand who we are -- and each of us is a child of God -- our behavior and desire will follow in the only way that makes sense. So if there is something that isn't right in your life, a habit you would like to change, or a frustration that you just can't get over, I invite you to learn more about who you are and let that knowledge change you and change how you think. I promise your desires will change and understandings will come to mind that inevitably bring peace -- truly your "swords" (challenges, weaknesses, sins, frustrations, etc.) will become bright as well. Take even one minute to pray and you'll know, as I'm often reminded, that you have never been anything less than a child of God.

"Have ye received his image in your countenance?"

If you had to rate your spiritual well-being on a scale from 1 to 10, where would you be? If you're anything like me, that's a difficult thing to measure! I wouldn't know where to start, and even if I did, it could change on an hourly basis! I was encouraged by my professor this week, however, to use Alma 5 as a good "spiritual mirror" -- a way to look into your spirit and see how you're really doing. I would extend the same invitation to each one of you and really take each question personally. As I did this, I was impressed deeply by the question he asks of "have ye received his image in your countenance?". Countenance is defined as "a person's face of facial expression" or even "support". It goes deeper than a mere muscle or eye movement -- a countenance is an expression of what we are inside. It made me think of what the Savior's countenance would be like, if he were in front of me right now. And I pictured what President Kimball said once when he was asked by an artist what the Savior looked like in order to complete a painting. He said "paint him with love in his eyes." If any of us were to look into Christ's eyes, I am sure we would see exactly what President Kimball saw. And in that same spirit, I think it is the evidence of our ultimate spiritual well-being when we too can have a countenance like the Savior's -- one that literally extends love.

"O how ye ought to thank your heavenly King"

Neal A. Maxwell, in speaking of what God has given to every person, reminds us that whatever we give up or give to God may as well be stamped "Return to Sender". King Benjamin gives us a similar understanding in how he spent his days in the service of his people he was only in the service of his God. (Mosiah 2:16) It made me realize that all that I have now, and all that I ever will get --- in terms of money, relationships, time, abilities, etc -- is given to me through the goodness of God. And with that in mind, I ought not to ever be stingy with my giving. After all, it never was mine to begin with and giving something away when others are in need is only doing what God needs me to do. So for anyone who has felt like I have -- a tinge of hesitation when a roommate asks for a ride or a feeling of frustration when someone asks to borrow your last pen... (among other more serious things) -- remember how good and gracious God has been to you in giving you those things. And I invite you to use "return [those things] to sender" by giving them to the people around you who are in need.

Free to choose faith

A few weeks ago, I was tasked with the pleasure of taking the LSAT (the law school admission test) and needless to say I was nervous. Granted, I had been preparing all summer for this.  For four months I had gone to classes, done homework, and taken countless practices tests; and yet I still was struggling to not sink into despair because I just couldn’t get some of the questions.

It was during this time that I was studying a talk given by Elder Jeffrey R Holland and he said something that completely blew my mind, making my fears seem so small:

“Trouble has no necessary connection with discouragement.” (originally said by F. Scott Fitzgerald)

It reminded me that even when something is hard; even when we are deeply troubled or worried about something – it never has to be discouraging. We choose how to respond, and in those troubling times, we are meant to respond faithfully and confidently, being “free to choose lierty and eternal life… or to choose captivity and death” (2 Ne. 2:27) and I, like Jacob, “would that ye should…be faithful… and choose eternal life,” (v. 28) remembering, even if you take the LSAT, that trouble has no necessary connection with despair.

We have need for more of the word of God

I wonder how many of us, when thinking of going to Sunday school again or watching another session of General Conference, have thought "I've already heard this stuff... I've already had this lesson..." and then silently resign to boredom or ignorance. I know that I have, at times, been tested with this sort of feeling. In reading the Book of Mormon this week, I noticed that Nephi makes clear that even the people of the church of Jesus Christ and humble followers of Christ will be tempted to think that they "have received the word of God and [they] need no more the word of God, for [they] have enough."

In response to that, Nephi gives us this thought:
    "...thus saith the Lord God: I will give unto the children of men line upon line, precept upon precept, here a little and there a little; and blessed are those who hearken unto my precepts and lend an ear unto my counsel, for they shall learn wisdom; for unto him that receiveth I will give more; and from them that shall say, We have enough, from them shall be taken away even that which they have." (2 Nephi 28:30)

I am confident that at every stage of life we are all in need of more of the word of God. Even the same basic doctrines, when taught repeatedly, can become new again as we learn more about them. In this season of General Conference I am grateful for a God who will never stop speaking, and a God who promises that he will not just teach us once but "will give more" as we receive what he is saying.

"For the Lord God will help me.."

As I sat in almost sheer panic this morning, the LSAT looming only one hour in front of me, I knew I needed more than my own preparation and confidence to get me through the test. Of course I had prayed for help, and I believed the Lord would help... but I wondered if i deserved His help. And I wondered what I had to do to receive that help. As so often happens, my morning scripture study blew my mind and caved my heart concerning my worries:
"For thus saith the Lord: Have I put thee away, or have I cast thee off forever?... To whom have I put thee away? ... Yea to whom have I sold you? Behold for your iniquities have ye sold yourselves... Wherefore, when I came there was no man; when I called yea there was none to answer."(2 Nephi 7:1)
In these verses the Lord makes it clear that we are the only ones who can choose to separate ourselves from the help of God. Then he reassures us that he is in fact still there, still caring and still all powerful:
"Is my hand shortened at all that it cannot redeem, or have I no power to deliver? Behold, at my rebuke I dry up the sea, I make their rivers a wilderness..." (v. 2)
I believe, I've experienced and I testify, along with Isaiah, that "The Lord God will help me" (v. 7) and that "help" is never taken away by God.  He is always there to support us and strengthen us, beyond what we would be able, in our righteous desires. While reading these verses, and while taking the LSAT, I could feel the reality of God's love and help. Nothing helped subside my fears like that knowledge and those feelings. He truly does help us in our times of need.

"Many of mine own prophecies"

One thing the Book of Mormon does well is remind you of your weaknesses and give you an example of someone doing it right... and as much as I've tried to keep a decent journal that I will appreciate in my future years, I still wonder what I am really supposed to get out of keeping a journal. Nephi gives an insight that not only teaches us, again, about the value of the Book of Mormon in our lives, but also a glimpse into what the Lord would have us keep record of during our time here on earth.
Of course, in reference to the Book of Mormon, Nephi was commanded to record specifically the sacred, "plain and precious" things. However, Nephi was also asked  to keep records of their "journeyings in the wilderness","the genealogy of his father", as well as "ministeries and prophecies"given in his lifetime. (1 Nephi 19:1-3) Most noteworthy to me, however, was when he mentioned writing "many of [his] own prophecies".
Not only were these records a place to remember what he had learned and experienced -- but also a place where God could open his own mind and reveal to him things beyond that which had been shared with him by others. I am reminded of the times when my mind has been opened to specific ideas and feelings when I take the time to write in my journal.  That pondering and writing time have led to some of the most valuable realizations I have ever experienced. Beyond just blessing my future self and posterity, I believe that journal keeping will teach us things that God would have us know and realize regarding our own life, if only we take the time to "make these plates."

The Love of God

I work on a daily basis with criminal defendants, and this often makes me ponder about how God must feel about them.... guilty or not and regardless of the type of crime.  While reading this week in the Book of Mormon I noticed that Nephi asked a similar question. Speaking of the people led out of Egypt he asked:

 "Do ye suppose that they were righteous? Behold I say unto you, Nay. Do ye suppose that our fathers would have been more choice than they if they had been righteous? I say unto you, Nay. Behold the Lord esteemeth all flesh in one." - 1 Nephi 17: 33-35

I know that we learn and are blessed when we obey the commandments of God -- however, even when we are not obedient, even when we have completely disregarded all of God's words, we are not any less loved of God. Righteousness is not a pre-requisite for God loving us. I know that is true, and in the name of Jesus Christ, I leave you with this testimony, a quote from the prophet of God himself:

"That love never changes. … It is there for you when you are sad or happy, discouraged or hopeful. God’s love is there for you whether or not you feel you deserve [it]. It is simply always there."

The Book of Mormon - My simple testimony

The Book of Mormon, which I believe and know to be the word of God, has brought me the greatest comfort, clarity, and understanding in my life compared to any of the books I've ever read. I am profoundly and eternally grateful that I have the chance to read and ponder its contents daily, even multiple times a day. I've come to realize that it is one of the greatest gifts God has given me and one of the greatest gifts I could give to someone else. It brings its reader closer to Christ and shows honest truth-seekers what they should do, in a way that no other collection of words can. An angel of God said of the Book of Mormon in 1 Nephi 13:40, that it "shall make known the plain and precious things" which could not be found in any other book. In harmony with those plain and precious truths, it "shall make known to all kindreds, tongues, and people, that the Lamb of God is the Son of the Eternal Father, and the Savior of the world; and that all men must come unto him, or they cannot be saved." In testifying of the glory of the Book of Mormon, I do not intend to downplay the power of the Bible or to say that great men have not been guided without the help of such a book.  However, I do know that there are truths that cannot be known, testimonies of Christ that cannot be fully nourished, and a salvation that cannot be obtained without the understanding that the Book of Mormon teaches. I pray that my love for this book will never diminish, because I know the challenges that will yet face me will be nearly insurmountable if I choose to let its influence leave my life. 

1 Nephi 13:40